The times that we do have specific rules, it really helps to involve the kids and bring them on board while setting rules that work for them too.  It takes account of parental and child’s needs and finds a way to meet both.   Can children adapt to the inconsistency?  Of course! They know every subtlest detail of difference in rules between their house and their friends’ houses.  The difference between Mom’s needs and Dad’s needs.   They need to know the difference between church expectations and playground expectations.  They know and accept that you must wear a seatbelt in a car but don’t have to on a city bus, school bus, or even a taxi.    Knowing the specific expectations of each situation make a person more secure than knowing the general rule that tries to cover all situations.  My children know I need my carpet to stay clean.  They now make better choices to meet that need.  And that’s what growing up is all about.  Making good choices in differing circumstances.

Life is about change and inconsistency.  About having different feelings, moods, and needs from one day to the next. No parent or child should feel guilty about being human.

Negotiation allows us to live together harmoniously.